A brutally cheeky countdown of things that should never leave a trader’s mouth (but somehow do — every damn day).
🔟 “I’m just gonna double my size real quick…”
🧨 Ah yes, the classic. Nothing says “great risk management” like YOLO-ing into revenge size after two red trades and a caffeine bender.
“Because if I’m gonna lose, I might as well lose big.” – Future Funded Account Ghost
9️⃣ “It can’t go lower than this.”
🏚️ Spoiler: It can, it will, and it did… right after you said it out loud to the trading room.
Also known as: “I bottom-ticked the Titanic.”
8️⃣ “That candle looked bullish.”
📉 With absolutely no context, trend bias, or structure to back it up. Just vibes.
Volume? Structure? Context? Nah, just a feeling in my kneecaps.
7️⃣ “The news doesn’t matter. It’s already priced in.”
📺 Minutes before CPI torches the entire ES range and sets your fib levels on fire.
Yes, Karen, and so was the Hindenburg.
6️⃣ “I know it’s against my rules… but I just had a feeling.”
🧠 The fastest way to go from strategy to spaghetti.
Your rules didn’t ghost you. You ghosted your rules.
5️⃣ “It’s consolidating, so I’ll just scalp it both ways.”
🔫 AKA the “Death by a Thousand Tiny Stops” method.
You’ve turned the market into a blender. And guess who’s the banana?
4️⃣ “I don’t need a stop. I’ll just watch it closely.”
🧼 Behold: the delusion of the decade.
One distracted snack break later: “Why is my account down 30%?”
3️⃣ “I missed the move… should I still get in?”
🚀 You didn’t just miss the bus — the bus hit a wormhole and is in another time zone.
You’re no longer trading — you’re begging.
2️⃣ “It always bounces off that level.”
🎯 Until it doesn’t… and rips your face off in slow motion.
Support is not a trampoline. It’s a suggestion.
🏆 #1 DUMBEST Thing Traders Say:
“I’ll just hold it a little longer… it’ll come back.”
💀 This is how swing traders are born. Not by choice — by margin call.
Congratulations, you’re now in a long-term relationship with your worst entry.
🧠 Bonus Wisdom:
“Smart traders have short memories for losses, long memories for lessons.”
You, my friend, are building a highlight reel of regrets.